mmm secret pizza

Got in from the pub last night quite early. Wasn't that drunk, but i still felt justified in eating AN ENTIRE PIZZA. All. On. My. Own. Triple cheese i think it was. I mauled that pizza. I practically deep throated the fucker. Oh and I was dipping it in mayonnaise??? Could practically feel my heart slowing down with the  effort it was taking to eat it. I was going to read some Ultimate Xmen but my booze (and cheese) adeled brain managed to remember the grease and mayonnaise on my fingers would destroy my beloved comic. SO i sat staring at the front cover shoving pizza in my face hole. Did i put the pizza down wash my hands and read the comic with one hand and eat pizza with the other? Nope. You need both hands to tackle 12 inches apparantly.