Wrath of the Titans

Mr M and I went to see "Wrath of the Titans" last week. I did not enjoy it and Mr M kept falling asleep. Now, we are both big lovers of action packed fantasy filled glorious fight scene epics. This film unfortunately did not live up to the hype. The original "Clash of the Titans" with its stop screen animation and badly dressed actors will always have a place in my heart. I LOVE it. Which is the main reason i went to see the new revamped version a couple of years back. And i actually enjoyed it. Plot was a little different from the original and the Gods didnt feature as much as i would have liked, but yeah, i liked it. So i thought "Wrath..." would be eequally as pleasing. It was not. ANd this is why....

1) There was no back story re: Kronos and how he created the universe, created the gods and subsequently tried to kill them by eating them but only Zeus escaped and then freed his brothers and sisters. This would have been an opportunity to really dazzle with some "in the stars" CGI and would have laid the foundations to a story with a bit more depth and history. Rather than Zeus turning up at Perseus' door one day, "Pa sure is mad i made him stop eating ma bruders and sisturs huck huck huck".
2) Give me a chance to get my head around the time that has passed. I've barely understood that Lo (his love interest in first movie) is dead, and that Perseus now has a son before shit starts happening! How did she die? Do you blame the gods (who could probably have saved her and because they didn't you won't help now?).
3)Hold the camera steady for fuck sake. This ain't Blair witch! With sooooo much action being squeezed into every available corner of the screen I need some kind of centre to keep me from throwing up!!!! It's hard enough to focus without feeling like im watching this thing on a boat. The screen is so saturated its hard to see whats actually going on and why.
4) Some things are a little bit hard to believe. Now, Gods/Demons/Cyclops/Two headed fire breathing monstrosities...all these i can believe (I know thy're real, I've seen them in comics). But the thing i don't believe, is this. It's the last stand. Against a big living volcano man and hundreds of lava covered hades spawn. Ok. "How do we defeat them?" I hear you cry. Well luckily Agenor has a GREAT idea. Lets stick big wooden (flammable) sharpened posts into the ground infront of the army...oh! and lets cover ourselves in cold mud that way Predator won't see us....wait...wrong movie. Anyway bascially they decide to surround themselves with as much flammable stuff as possible. And surely Agenor finds this aborant as he longs for the sea and hates being dry (don't we all).
5) Queen Andromeda. She's shoved in as a failsafe love interest. It's unbelievable. It seems desperate. And he doesn't really seem interested in her until the last 5 minutes were he kisses her. For no apparant reason. Except that they're still alive and it's the adrenaline kicking in. He'll wake up in 3 months time realise it was all a mistake and go back to fishing.
6) Sam Worthingtons accent. Heres a tip mate. If you're doing a sequel, watch (and listen) the last one to see what kind of accent you used last time. Ya flaming galah!

And whatever you do DO NOT see it in 3D. You'll puke or have a seizure of some kind.